Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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