Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
