You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
