The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
