i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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