i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just threw up on my dentist
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
