I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
