My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you made out with another girl for some wings
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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