So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
