No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
