..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
