he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
