So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
