i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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