OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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