chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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