Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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