sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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