My room smells like vodka and shame
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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