He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I pour the whiskey from now on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
