I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
please don't ironically join a cult
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