She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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