He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My hand turned me down
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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