I just saw a hot homeless man
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
