you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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