I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
