i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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