I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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