Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
