Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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