I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
