I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
party gras won. party gras always wins.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
