everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just found puke in my bra..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Boobs speak an international language.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
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