Please, let me fuck your mom
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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