we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
