Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
