so explain again why im purple
no
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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