I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize