saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
