If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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