you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
