just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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