come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
