Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
