You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
