How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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