quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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