Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
