Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
