she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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