come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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