Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
