She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize