So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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