Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize