My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
