it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
