O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
