i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
