Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
