i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
