So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize