I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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